CAT PROM PICS!!!!!!!

Thank you readers, for sending in your cat prom photos! It is my pleasure to introduce to you, the cat-idates for queen of the cat prom.

1. Glitterbell, The skankiest cat at the cat prom, promises to make this a night to remember... for the entire cat-football team.

2. Amber, the most popular cat at cat prom always has the best hair, always has the nicest dress and has all the tom cats crazy about her.

3. Lilou, adorable in a polka-dot dress (no, no sneak peaks before cat prom!) will be attending cat prom with her brother, Taco. Adorable!



Amber







Glitterbell

Lilou

Vonage returns

Have you ever called Vonage Customer Service?
Maybe during lunch at work, and you put them on speakerphone?
And you misdialled the 1-866 as 1-800?
Yeah, that's a sex line, isn't it?

And maybe when you talk to Vonage they misspell your name as Fridddman, which is very diversity-aware of them to believe such a name even exists (2 vowels and 7 consonants?).

And then when you ask when you can expect your refund? they inform you they are posting it today and you can expect it in 3-5 business days - well, isn't that a coincidence!

But to be fair, this time the agent was able to look me up by my name (once spelled correctly), as opposed to previous agents who insisted without my account #, they "couldn't do anything." Which did seem to be generally true.

I'm almost sad the Vonage chapter of my life is closing, but I need the time off to properly engage my new adversary, Citibank, spammer #1 in my life.

This is not a pipe

Meow After Meow!

It's almost time for the most magical night of the year, Cat Prom. Funny with 2 E's invites all readers to send in photos of their cats at Cat Prom, getting ready for Cat Prom, crying because they aren't going to Cat Prom, rebelliously boycotting Cat Prom, or getting it on in an alley after Cat Prom. Never heard of Cat Prom? Then we invite all readers to make Cat Prom a part of daily life. Here is how:

1. Constantly talk about Cat Prom with/to your cat:
ex. "Taco! You can't wear a read bowtie to the Cat Prom, everyone will make fun of you!" or "Boris, you'll never learn to dance before the Cat Prom with that attitude!"

2. Make everything your cat does be about Cat Prom:
ex. "Lilou, stop eating the bamboo or you'll get sick and can't go to Cat Prom" or "Taco, stop meowing at me like that, I am chaperoning at the Cat Prom and that is final"

3. Sing songs that might be played at Cat Prom:
Meow After Meow: "If you meow I will meow me and you'll meow me... meow after meow"
Total Eclipse of the Meow: "Once upon a meow I was meowing a meow, now I'm only meowing a meow, what can I meow it's a total eclipse of the meow"

4. Tell EVERYONE about Cat Prom

And SEND IN THOSE PHOTOS!!!! (email to Erin or Elisabeth)

Rejected! by eHarmony

Since Valentine's Day is coming up, I thought it'd be nice if we gave a little help to some people who might be having some trouble finding a special someone for the day that only comes once a year, just like every other day, except February 29th, which is really the most special day of all.

Name: Bobama
Age: 46
Height: Plenty tall, thank you
Race: Black. mostly.

Likes: Smiling, hardworking children; caramel apples; democracy; cocaine - just kidding!
Dislikes: Liars, cheaters, most of Texas (except any smiling, hardworking children), cocaine - for serious folks, you should never even try this stuff, always ask an adult.

Describe an ideal date: I get home from my good job that pays fair for who I am and what I do - an American who works hard. You're working part-time as a way to manage the kids and your career, in a compromise we agreed on while planning our family and our lives, together. I tell you about my day as you put together a salad to go with the meal I picked up from Safeway on the way home. After a family meal, we put the kids to bed and watch a little Cinemax in our bedroom while doing some lines - kidding! I mean we do a little role-play and remember how fortunate and proud we are to be Americans, in a country where we can role-play about the government in our own bedrooms without fear of someone breaking down our door and arresting us for possession.

Name: CapitalHill Babe
Age: Technically dead.
Height: 5'4"
Race: So white I can sting you.

Likes: sensible suits, well-organized staff-meetings, laughing, people getting what they deserve.
Dislikes: Liars, cheaters, most of Texas (except for Kenny Rogers), spending more than 20 minutes on my hair.

Describe an ideal date: We meet at a trendy yet quiet Washington restaurant. I get the lamb and you order one of those chicken-pot-pie things, and we have a chocolate volcano cake for dessert. We split the check but you secretly put thousands of dollars in my purse when I get up to go to the women's room. We rendez-vous back at my hotel room several hours later and watch electoral returns while you massage my feet. I kick you out at 2am. No texting.