Translation Coordinators

A translation coordinator is the go-between for client and translator on behalf of some big company so the translator never gets to meet the client and establish a direct relationship and make more money. The coordinator rules with an iron fist and is always thinking of new ways to make you dance for them. Usually the coordinator doesn't speak both of the translation languages, because that would cost more. So you get conversations like this:

Jerk Coordinator: So, is it okay if I move this word up to the first line? Next to the other word?
Translator: No, why would that be okay?
Jerk Coordinator: Because it's one word in English, I don't know why you have two words here.
Translator: Because it takes two words in Japanese. That's why it's a translation.
Jerk Coordinator: I'm just going to move it up here so it's like the original-
Translator: No!
Jerk Coordinator: Oh, and we pay 3 months after delivery-
Translator: Nooo!

All of a sudden though, there's a new breed of coordinator who is not only nice, but, how do you say, naive? innocent? dumb-as-a-stump?
Like the one who asked me my price after I had completed the job.

Jim: Thanks for mowing the lawn Timmy. You sure did a good job.
Timmy: My pleasure Mr. Jim.
Jim: Ahhh.. how much do you think you earned there?
Timmy: $75.
Jim: $75? You don't think that's just a bit high? It only took you one hour...
Timmy: Sorry, Mr. Jim. I know what my time is worth. And now you do, too.

Or when I responded to a job advertising $0.08/word (that's really low) and the coordinator replied saying, "Is $0.08 okay?" If you're asking, then Heck no, it's not! I wrote back that I would lower my usual rate of $0.12 to $0.10 considering the volume of the job (50 million words, btw, what's up with that?), and her response, "Thank you for so generously lowering your regular rate." There's showing your hand, and then there's taking out an add in the New York Times.

Not that I would ever see that ad. I just read about them in the New Yorker 6 months later.
PS, what would be the appropriate condolence card for calling in gay?