All systems go-to GO!

So, once again my job puts me in a position where I'm supposed to help people. I like helping people, I like being the go-to person, especially when I'm able to solve some anxious dilemna with a simple well-placed phone call.
Really though, there's two reasons why I, or any other secretary/assistant/wise-ass, in your department is so good at what they do:
1) They get a lot of experience. You can flatter yourself into believeing you're the first one to ask that question (i.e., "How do I get a pomegranete out of the fax machine?"), but you're probably not.
2) They learn from their experience. *Especially good assistants take notes.

Some people might be tempted to add a 3) They're not whiny, but I don't think that's true 100% of the time.

Let's try a sample office scenario.
Mary has traveled to John's office to get a security badge created. This badge is so important that without it, she can't even make copies. Mary waited for John to send it to her for two weeks before someone told her she needed to go get it herself.

John: Did you bring the paperwork?
Mary: I thought you had it.
John: I don't.
Mary: I sent it to you last week.
John: I never saw it. You can't get this without the paperwork.
Mary: I need to get this now.
John: You can't do it without the paperwork.
Mary: Okay, I'll come back later.
[pause]
Assistant: Could she just fill it out again, here? Since she's already here?
[pause]
John: Yes, that would work.
Mary: Oh, I'll do that then.

Man, assistants really are swell. It's too bad Secretary's Day only comes once a year!