Not down with Vonage

Sometimes calling people in Japan feels like a keigo battle.
Keigo Royale Smack-down, or some such.
I plan out my best, most humble expressions, and they're trounced, instantly.
Me: さっきほどメールをお送りしましたが。

Her:ご拝見させていただきました。

And she's down! There will be no rematch! There will be no sequel!
Except that I have to call her again tonight.

What's worse is, this whole "politeness above service" attitude is spreading to America.
Have you noticed that corporations that outsource to Indian (ie, Vonage) are starting to give their people more and more scripted lines?
You can't say anything without them rattling off a long, preset statement about how very, very sorry they are.
I'll try to keep this short:

Vonage Lady: Thank you for calling Vonage the number-one rated internet phone service my name is ___ how can I help you today?
Me (on hold for 20 minutes): I'd like to cancel my account. (note, I chose the "cancel my account" option in the menu.)
Vonage Lady: I'm very sorry to hear that as you are a valued Vonage customer. For verification purposes can you tell me your name?
Me: Elisabeth F
VL: Thank you very much Elisabeth F. May I call you by your first name?
Me: I guess.
VL: Thank you very much Elisabeth. For verification purposes, can you tell me why you want to cancel your service?
Me: I don't need it.
VL: How will you be meeting your phoning needs?
Me: I don't think that's relevant. I want to cancel my account.
VL: I'm very sorry to hear that a valued Vonage customer wants to cancel their account. In order to look up your account, may I have your Vonage phone number?
Me: I don't know it. (note, I chose the "I don't know my number" option in the menu)
VL: Can you give me something to look up your account with?
Me: What?
VL: I need to look up your account. Can you give me something in order to look up your account?
Me: You have my name. Can't you look it up with my name?
VL: I will try. pause pause pause I have found your account. For verification purposes can you tell me your address?
Me: (does).
VL: Thank you very much Elisabeth. I am very sorry that you want to cancel your Vonage account, you are a valued customer. May I offer you two free months of service?
Me: What? No, I want to cancel my account. I don't need it.
VL: I can offer you two free months of service that will be yad yad yada-
Me; No! I want to cancel my account! I want to send the box device thing in!
VL: I am very sorry to hear you want to cancel your account.

In case you're wondering, then they said they couldn't cancel my account because I had an outstanding balance: the payment due that day for the next month (1) and the cancellation fee that would be refunded if I returned the device (2), ie, I don't actually owe any money.