I do it on the Daily
It has recently come to the attention of Pregnant Praying Mantis that
a. everything should have a "my humps" version,
and
b. "my humps" is a very very long song.
So this week Pregnant Praying Mantis will be reading "my humps" by the Black-eyed Peas.
Pregnant Praying Mantis rather enjoyed this read, and would like to offer Pregnant Praying Mantis' intelligent and innovative literary analysis. Pregnant Praying Mantis wishes to suggest that this reading is more that just a mere statement of "pretty human woman uses breast and buttocks to receive material goods" but rather a fine look into the humble yet noble life of a Pregnant Praying Mantis. If anyone knows how to read between the lines, it is Pregnant Praying Mantis. Fergie's usage of her assets to obtain attention and material goods, is a clear cut parallel to Pregnant Praying Mantis' finely tuned hunting skills. For example, Pregnant Praying Mantis recently spotted an attractive male mantis checking out these lovely mantis lumps, and Pregnant Praying Mantis (who at the time was just Regular Praying Mantis) got male mantis love drunk of these humps... however, rather than receiving a pair of jeans or a brand name bag, Pregnant Praying Mantis got a beautiful sack of adorable eggs and a nice full meal. Pregnant Praying Mantis thinks Fergie must admit defeat at this game. To analyze further, take for example the excerpt (male voice): "mix your milk with my cocoa puff" Pregnant Praying Mantis is sure that "milk" means "digestive stomach enzymes" and "cocoa puff" means "my head that you bit off while we were mating" Yes, beautiful lyrics. Also, it doesn't take a genius to note that "whacha gonna do with all that junk, all that junk inside that trunk" obviously means "what do you plan to do with all that egg sack, all that egg sack inside that swollen abdomen?" Well, Pregnant Praying Mantis will answer that burning questions "Ima get get get you interested in books, get you interested in books with Pregnant Praying Mantis Book Club"
Join Pregnant Praying Mantis Book Club next week when Pregnant Praying Mantis finds out whose milkshake brings all the potential mates to the yard.
1 comment:
Brillant, just brillant. nice photoshopping. I feel like you should get some sort of "Mantis Anti-Defamation Award" for your efforts.
I also think you could have a good time teaching a lit class in college. "What about the mantis view, people? How does Dickens convey his inherent bias towards manti? I want 800 words by tomorrow, stat."
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