Monday, December 17, 2007

Vacation Schmacation


As some of you may know, Erin is on vacation in Vietnam.
Now, I know Erin, and I know she would like nothing better than to tell us what's going on during her vacation - but she doesn't have a computer! And maybe she doesn't actually like dealing with the hassle of uploading all those awesome pictures she makes and dealing with Blogger's unenthusiastic image editor. Maybe, I'm just throwing stuff out here.
The good news is, Erin and I can communicate telepathically. So, while she's in Vietnam, I'll be reading her thoughts and then making up stuff to type here! Sounds good, eh? I could post her photos, too, but I can't upload from my mind.

Day 1: Leaving Japan!
Erin and Companion go to Narita, excited for their trip to Vietnam! Yeah!
They're flying AirChina, because it's cheap, and because they do all announcements in 10 different languages, all equally hesitant and mumbled, so that you miss the last 15 minutes of whatever movie you chose.
They approach the counter and check-in, only to find that new passport regulations require all passengers to only travel with people of the same nationality! Erin and Companion are not of the same nationality by blood! Customs is very sorry, but you two will have to go on separate flights and stay in separate hotels. Unless....
Unless what?
Unless you are covered by this very special law from 40 years ago that would absolve you of all this. Let me check. You are not. ....But maybe there is another way.
Another way?
Yes, you must agree to wear this koala for the duration of your flight.
Koala?
Koala. Ahem, excuse me, koara.
The whole flight?
Including layovers.
Well, okay. If it means we can travel together.

Erin straps on the koala and takes her seat on the plane(Really, no straps are necessary - koalas have claws). The flight attendants notice the koala and add a safety lecture in koalese before take-off, before landing, and during every stimulating moment in a movie.
Erin, Companion, and koala layover in Taipei, the worst layover airport in Asia. They're trying to save some money, so they don't plan on buying lunch, but the koala gets hungry and starts keening, so they buy him a small Coke and a bag of chips. Total cost: ¥1700.

They wait 7 hours, the longest an airport is allowed to make you layover before it counts as work and they have to pay you, and then they board their flight to Vietnam. This flight is short and to the point, interrupted only by the koala whimpering when he gets airplane-ears. Erin gives him some gum to release the pressure, which helps, but then he gets it in his fur and creates a real mess and sticks himself to the seat. There are no scissors on the plane, of course, and no peanut butter either, so the staff uses fish oil and hotdogs to try and grease the gum out. Naturally, this doesn't work, and only results in an oily, stinky, angry, and resentful koala that has gas from too many hotdogs. And is still sticking to everything. A move to flush the koala down the john is narrowly defeated.

Next time: In Vietnam!

2 comments:

Becky said...

"Koala. Ahem, excuse me, koara."

Best. line. ever. I LOLed mucho.

~Erin's Becky

Erin P said...

This is 110% correct. The only mistake is the coke and chips cost 3000 yen.