Erin gets called to the med. room because a student who doesn't speak Japanese is really sick and is having trouble communicating with the doctor. A coworker goes along with Erin:
CW: wow, i've never done interpreting before...
Me: It's ok, I've done this at hospitals a bunch of times, we'll work together.
CW: (in english) are you pregnant? Me: what? no, no! (keeping in mind, I have lost 10 + pounds since she first met me)
We wait in the examination room for the student, he comes in and seriously looks like he is about to die. He is shivering and thrashing around and won't let the doctor open his coat to check his heart. (also, the room is barely heated) The doctor talks to us and doesn't look at me because he assumes I don't know Japanese.
Me: hey, I know it's cold in here, but he needs to check your heart.
Guy: he told me .........(shiver... groan).... influenza....
Me: well, he said he isn't sure and he wants to send you to a real hospital to get some xrays and blood tests.
Guy: but, i got a flu-shot.
Me: (repeating what doctor said) that doesn't protect you against everything, but for now, you need to go to the hospital across the street.
CW: (suddenly decides she is a cast member on House, and starts asking a bunch of questions on her own...) When did you start to feel this? What do you feel? How about your head? When did you get the flu-shot? (even though it had already been decided that the guy would be moving to a different hospital)
Me: um, I'll walk you to the hospital, do you have your insurance card and student ID?
Guy: Yes, i brought them.
Me: Ok, the doctor is writing you a referral letter and my coworker will bring it to the hospital when it is finished.
Guy: (shivering, convulsing...)
CW: Do you have your insurance and student idea with you?
Me: Yes, he does.
CW: ok, so you go to the hospital and I will bring the letter, to the hospital.
We go to the hospital, and stop for the guy to buy a hot drink. When we arrive, my coworker is already in the lobby (damn! fast!)
CW: someone should stay with him.
Me: well, i've done a lot of this kind of translation, for people with the same symptoms too.
CW: oh, but aren't you really busy... because tomorrow is your last day?
Me: not really
CW: but I think they want you in the office...
Me: um... sure... ok, call if you need help.
Some other highlights: (may not be from the same day)
1. An angry student who wasn't able to go on study abroad because the office messed up his paperwork (gave him the wrong stuff... due dates... etc)
student: this is a UNIVERSITY! how can this be so difficult!!!
(a bunch of yelling that I didn't understand)
Student stands up, takes a full swing and HITS the administrative boss.
2. my Japanese-English translations were "edited" before they went to print:
(my words, followed by edited version)
Department of Defense --------->Department of Defiance
Information will be posted on the event board -----------> Please confirm bulletin board
Public Servants --------------> Publish Servants
East Asian Policy ----------> Look East Policy
Revision to the Memorandum between X and X --------------> Revision Memorandum Revises
Agreement between X and X
Contact Person ---------> Window
3. I had to proof read the following phrases:
"Please exit through the door, Please exit through the dumpster on the door"
"Labor issue unified term today, including Over time work, Sexual harassment and foreign worker, is serious problem which reflect the present day" (what? serious? you expect me to edit that? do you not realise that I am a foreign worker?)
"Through today's communication, come into contact with various idea, everyone can get wide vision" "I welcome overyone being from Japan at the bottom of my heart"
4. PREGNANT PRAYING MANTISLet's assume that the series most popular character, pregnant praying mantis, is continuing to climb up and down the window in search of a place to lay her eggs. She is upset, because instead of getting maternity leave, she was actually fired from her job of teaching elementary students about the importance of insects. Also, her only lover and the father of her children has just died a horrible death... and she ate him. She slowly makes her way to the corner of the window, and prepares to lay her eggs, bringing her unsuspecting children into a world which will never meet their dreams... hmm.. "maybe I'll reread the Grapes of Wrath" she thinks.
LAST EPISODE!!! TOMORROW!!
1 comment:
A good answer to stupid collegue who wants to hog all the glory/limelight of being The Translator even tho she isn't qualified; when she tried to get you to bug off, could've just said, "what? no, I thought it was your last day tomorrow!" but in english, so when she nods, you get secret satisfaction bonus points.
maybe start a reading group with the praying mantis? she might have an interesting perspective.
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