On the Subject of Russian Spy Satellites

1. How to know you may be under surveillance by Russian Spy Satellite

you may hear a soft voice saying:

"ah.... you like computer mouse? Computer mouse very sexy, yes? You hump computer mouse. Russian Spy Satellite no watch, go to Starbucks, get limit-time special holiday latte... gingerbread..... you hump computer mouse."

or

"ah.... you like very traditional delicious Russian dumpling? very traditional delicious Russian dumpling very sexy, yes? You hump very traditional delicious Russian dumpling. Russian Spy Satellite no watch, go to Starbucks, get limit-time special holiday latte... gingerbread..... you hump very traditional delicious Russian dumpling."

or possibly

"ah.... you like professional grade stage speakers during major concert? professional grade stage speakers very sexy, yes? You hump professional grade stage speakers. Russian Spy Satellite no watch, go to Starbucks, get limit-time special holiday latte... gingerbread..... you hump professional grade stage speakers... ok, now say Tokyo 100 times."
(this is what Russian Spy Satellite said to Fergie when she was performing with the Black Eyed Peas at Summer Sonic in Tokyo)

or maybe

"ah.... you like Starbucks limit-time holiday latte? Starbucks limit-time holiday lattevery sexy, yes? You Starbucks limit-time holiday latte. Russian Spy Satellite no watch, go to Starbucks, get limit-time special holiday latte... oh... ah.. no, Russian Spy Satellite go to Tully's Coffee Shop... yes, Tully's... get Salty Caramel Latte! What? Sold Out? Honey Latte? ok... you hump Starbucks limit-time holiday latte"

2. What to do when confronted by Russian Spy Satellite

Under NO condition should you hump the item mentioned by the Russian Spy Satellite. Ignore the Russian Spy Satellite and never ever speak of it again.

3. What to do if your friend is humping a water bottle

Quietly bring your friend aside, tell him/her that the Russian Spy Satellite has no intention of going to Starbucks to get a holiday latte, and is in fact lactose intolerant and is instead watching him/her hump the water bottle. Advise your friend to stop humping the water bottle immediately and to quickly proceed to a safe location (preferably under ground)

Russian Clip Art:

So when I was looking for "Russian" clip art for the previous post, my search in Japanese power point yielded: perogies, what appears to be a Russian eye chart, a monkey trying to wear/eat 3 pairs of glasses and a unsettling-ly sexy dragon fly.