SkyMall is that free magazine with all the weird electronics and pet doodads - it's like a Best Buy that nobody wants to go into.
But that doesn't mean it's not deserving of it's own Top 5 Christmas Presents list. All photos from www.skymall.com.
1. Children Touchscreen ATM Bank
This toy (yet realistic!) ATM will help children learn good money-management and get them excited about using ATMs for real, just like a grown-up. Exactly in the same way that Easy-Bake Ovens teach children good nutrition and get them excited for cooking for themselves, for real! Also included: the booklet "Explaining to your child why blowing $70 on an over-hyped piggy bank makes 'good finanical sense'."
$69.95
2. Nano UV Disinfection Scanner
"Stop the spread of infectious diseases - From the common cold and flu bugs to deadly E. coli and Asian bird flu- with a Nano disinfectant scanner. "
This is especially relevent because just last week CNN read a news brief saying that technology is so advanced that while you usually need intimate physical contact to spread HIV, you can now catch it through your home phone. They anticipate the virus will mutate for cell-phones within 2-5 years.
$80
3. The 
MARSHMALLOW SHOOTER
MARSHMALLOW SHOOTERIt shoots miniture marshmallows. All the fun of shooting foam pieces at someone, plus the joy of little things that mold under the couch, and then the dog eats them and gets really sick. Plus, the Chinese children starve.
$24.95
4. Litter Robot
The device works by turning upside down and rolling until the waste falls through the trap at the bottom. Independent lab tests say it takes 10 days for the machine to go berserk and roll the cat into the trap.
Includes coupons for replacement filters, cat.
$299
5. Kinkades Talking House
Kinkades? As in, there are many Kinkades involved in this delightful marketing wonder?
Not only do you get a beautiful house figurine made out of something artsy, it's also plays a recording of Thomas Kinkade himself reading 'Twas the Night Before Christmas! Assuming an artist would have a good reading voice is like assuming a jellybean is a good candlemaker. Truly. The best part, as a Kinkade original reproduction, is that it's guaranteed to go up in value!*
*May not go up in value.
$134
7 comments:
Ok, I have invented 5 competing toys to be advertised in MY magazine "AirPost" to be distributed on Air India flights. (p.s. i do love air india! delicious food and the drinks keep coming!)
1. children's ATM criminal kit (allows children to commit robbery at SkyMail's Children's ATM.. includes gun, gum (for sticking into the money slot) and a disguise (mostache))
2. instant virus creator! muwahahahahah!
3. Marshmallow shield... it's just a giant ass flat marshmallow... crazy!
4. Robotic Cat (because there is no way a real cat would use the robo litter box)
5. Talking Haunted house... reading of "the raven" by chirstpher walken (I'd sooo buy it!)
5.
you've flown airindia? I'm very jealous.
okay, see you're skewing the contest - your toys actually sound fun, and practical. Anything with christopher walken gets an instant 4 stars, and a kit that includes a gun is just good sense.
I want the robotic cat to fight the robot litter box. You could sell the match on cable! Like Running Man but more relevant!
Oh sure, the ATM is loads of fun...until someone shoots a marshmallow at it and the screen starts blinking obscenities. Or until the cat comes streaking out of the psycho litterbox and scratches the screen to hell on the way.
~Erin's Becky
hey! my becky is cooler than your becky!
that's not fair, my becky isn't even represented!
I'ma gonna change that there right now!
Whatever, there's no way any other Becky can match my supreme coolness.
Someone called?
My kind of fun is when you're the only one on the plane lucky enough to sit next to the 53 year old bachelor with a comb-over that could rival Donald Trump and a distinct fetid cologne of scotch and sweat that none could match who decides to occupy the entire 7 hour flight from New York to London enthralling you on the edge of your seat with tales from his lone holiday in Miami (which he did not like as much as New York because it was hot, the people were not as friendly, and there was not much to do) after which he invites you for a free cup of coffee at his McDonalds in Marble Arch where he serves as the weekend manager whilst simultaneously admitting that McDonalds coffee is crap, but you're still welcome to that free cup.
Except it got even more fun when he finally did fall asleep. On my shoulder. It was on that day I felt the gods were smiling down upon me.
-E's Becky
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